Mark Bind's Blog

I am a man who is really into bondage.  I like all kinds.  You could say that I am a bondage connoisseur.

I have a background as an artist. I owned two art galleries that operated for over two decades. I was also a professional escape artist and performed hundreds of shows. Before that I used to buy run down homes and fix them up and sell them. I have worked as an illustrator, cowboy, patients rights advocate, actor, writer, and set designer in the past.

I currently run this website that shows bondage videos that contain no adult sexual content. I decided to be different and offer this to those, such as me, who do not wish to view pornography. I operate the website in hopes that some of you will read my more serious writings about acceptance of others, tolerance, and  keeping a balance in life. This website is designed to be fun as well as to help and educate people.

I own an old county jail in Iowa where I spend my summers. I do realistic jail role playing there. Many of my videos are shot there as well. 

I think it is important to care about, and to help people.  I used to volunteer as a patients rights advocate in locked mental hospitals. Don't get any ideas that I did it for any kinky reasons. I did it because I wanted to help the ignored people in society. My experiences working with the patients caused me to become passionate about keeping kids off of drugs (particularly off of "crack"). I have gone on line and given advice to people who are trying to find their identity.  I am no therapist or doctor, but I have been around for a while and I have a lot of empathy for people who don't feel like they fit in.  After all, I was one of them.  

Although I am really a "sub", I know how to restrain  a guy in play because I understand the mindset.  I find it fun to give them their fantasy as long as no sex is involved. The fun for me is creating the fantasy for them and seeing how much they enjoy it and the relief they get for having finally lived it.  It can really take the edge off of the severe fixations for some guys. 

I am a people person and love to talk. I love the diversity that is in the world and like to find out what makes other people tick. I don't judge anyone for being different than me. I am very open about my interests in bondage and the fact that I am a gay man. Of course there are some settings where keeping quiet about my interests is most appropriate.  I am also  interested in psychology.  I have spent many hours going through the latest studies about bondage and sadomasochism. In the past, I have presented some of the materials that I have found on this website as a help for others who are trying to figure out why they are like they are. The bottom line: most people who are into bondage are perfectly normal.

I am disgusted by the prejudice and discrimination that I see by those who profess faith in a God that tells them not to judge others. It weakens any trust that I had in religion. It also tells me that some people need religion that would tell them over and over again not to be discriminatory. I think that people should be good and help each other, not because of any reward in the future, but because it is the right thing to do.

I live a rather unique lifestyle. I live much of my life in captivity which is what I like. I am let free long enough to do the work and things that need to be done on the outside. But when the work is done, I am back in my cage. I sleep and do much of the work on this website in while imprisoned. It is a lifestyle that works for me, but would probably drive most people up the wall. Many people judge me harshly for what I enjoy, but it just shows their intolerance and I only feel pity for thier narrow mindedness.

I guess calling myself a slave is the ultimate in wanting to serve other people. It certainly keeps me in a humble position. Shouldn't all of us serve each other?

 IF YOU ARE CONFUSED OR DISTRESSED ABOUT YOUR SEXUALITY OR YOUR KINKY AND STRANGE INTERESTS READ THIS.

Do you feel guilty that you have desires to be tied up or to tie up someone else?

Do you feel distressed that you are attracted to the same sex?

I am not a therapist, but I have been around the block a few  times and I can tell you why you feel guilty and why you feel distressed about your sexuality. You feel guilty or distressed about your sexuality because you were raised in a society that does not generally accept those who are minorities when it comes to sexual interests.

How do you remove the feeling of distress and guilt about your sexuality? First you have to do the research on the internet to find out that you are normal. Do not look at what priests or the main stream Christian right say. You need to research the science. The science says that homosexuality is normal. Being kinky and interested in bondage and other safe kinks is also normal as long as you are keeping your life in balance and engaging in it with adults who also agree to do it.

Different religious and social groups have varied moral codes. These are their codes of conduct. As long as you are not hurting anyone and abiding by the law, you are not bound by the moral codes of various groups. If your moral code that you have chosen to live with says that homosexuality or engaging in bondage is wrong or sinful, then you will feel guilt and shame for being who you are. In psychology they call that, "Being in a bind".

So then you need to make a choice. You can go ahead and feel the guilt and unhappiness that the social group that you are associated with thrusts upon you, or you can choose to do some hard research on that church, organization, or social group that has the moral code that is making you feel guilty. If your hard research on that group shows strong evidence that they are selling you a false man made morality, then you have another choice to make. Do you stay aligned with that group anyway because of tradition and your comfort zone with friends and such, or do you turn away from the false organization to chart a new direction in your life?

If you find out that the society or religion that you are involved with is wrong on the issues of homosexuality or bondage that troubles you, and if you find out that science really does show that you are normal, then your guilt and distress about it will all go away (unless your involvement in your behavior is excessive to the point where it is interfering with other aspects of your life.)

If you stay aligned with the group that has the morality that you no longer agree with, you will have to deal with the clash of ideology between you and that group. This will be a point of stress and distress in your life. You will have to decide if it is worth it for you. If you sever the ties with your former group and ideology, then you will not feel guilt about your sexuality, and you will feel very liberated. But you will still face the prejudice and bias of the main stream majority who are clueless as to anything that they do not experience themselves.

You will need a support group of peers with common interests. If you are gay, you will need to socialize with other gay men. If you are interested in bondage, reach out to others who share the same interests. There are many Churches that are accepting of of homosexuals today. I believe that having a spiritual connection and some kind of religious connection with others is healthy and part of our needs as humans. So don't be too quick to throw out all religion.  

No matter what you decide to do, you will have a tougher life than those who are heterosexual and "vanilla" (not kinky). You are part of a minority. Only ten percent or so of the population is homosexual. Less than half of the population is kinky. People who are prejudice are narrow minded and cruel. They band together and bully those who they do not understand. You will need to be prepared for that.

Along with other friends who are also kinky and homosexual, I welcome you to our fellowship of men and women who have common interests. Remember that you are not alone. Even though we are a minority, there are lots of us. Thousands, and probably millions. Do what you need to do to make yourself happy. It may mean getting out of your comfort zone. Put in the work and effort and you will find a happier life. My message to you is to live well, be a good citizen, help other people, volunteer in your community. Show the bullies and bigots out there that you are a good and decent person by your actions. A wise minister recently told me, "Prove them wrong".

There is nothing wrong with being kinky, doing bondage, and alternative life styles. Just as there is nothing wrong with drinking a little wine, or having a beer once and a while, engaging in bondage is also just fine. Hopefully you already know where I am headed with this conversation. Eating food, having some chocolate cake, doing a little bit of gambling at Las Vegas for a day or two in moderation…all of those things are fine. When does it become addictive behavior? It is unhealthy behavior when it interferes with your job, family life, and social life.  If your life is kept in balance, then kink, legally done, is not a problem. Things such as alcohol, gambling, food, sex, and bondage can be addictive if you do not keep it in check. As long as you are balanced and functioning in your relationships and responsibilities, those things are okay. But when they take over your life, you have a big problem.

There are a lot of people out there that, in my opinion, are engaging in addictive behavior dealing with kink and bondage that is not healthy. If you are spending more than a couple hours a day on Recon, Fetlife, Facebook, or watching porn, then you probably are exhibiting unhealthy addictive behavior. If you are staying at home and do not have a job, and are on the computer much of the day searching for bondage pictures and engaging in cyber networking rather than looking for employment, then you have a real problem. If you are engaging in endless pursuits for bondage images and chatting on line about bondage when you should be working, taking care of things around your house, and keeping a balance in your life, then you have a problem. If you are over 25 and still living with your parents, or if you are a dependent of a friend, spouse, or relative and are not working (unless you are disabled or have enough money accumulated to take care of yourself the rest of your life, then you are in deep shit.  You better stop wasting your time before time runs out for you.  Just as too much chocolate cake is not healthy or too much gambling… too much focus on "bondage" and "kink" is also not healthy and is addictive behavior showing a lack of balance in your life. If you are watching too much porn, staying on the computer entertaining yourself for hours on end, then stop it and get your life back into balance.

There are certain things that must take priority in your life.  Getting yourself self supporting and not dependent on others is the first one.  Watching T.V., spending time on the internet reading stories, looking at pictures, and talking to people all over the globe on the social networks will not help you in what needs to be your first priority. If you get the balance right and get your house in order first, then you will be able to focus more on other fun pursuits. Work has to come before play. If you just drift along in life and engage in addictive behavior, then you will eventually find yourself screwed in life. You will only have yourself to blame,( although most losers will blame society or others for thier failures and laziness.) 

If you are complaining that you do not have enough money to get an apartment, car, buy gas, pay for your internet, gas, electric, phone, etc., and at the same time are not spending at least eight hours a day either working making a substantial income, or spending eight hours a day looking for a job that will give you the needed income, or getting the education that will make your skills valuable enough for someone to pay you a substantial income, then you have no right to complain, you are what society calls, "lazy". This is your only life to live. Grab that brass ring and live life. Figure out how to do it on your own. And live life to its fullest. Do not settle for just drifting along in life.  ​ 

I cannot stress enough how important it is to keep a balance in life. Here are several areas in your life to consider. 

Social: You should spend a portion of your life in relationships. You need a social life. Friends, family, groups, and finding a soul mate are important for your mental well being.

Education: A portion of your life should be balanced with gaining more education. Just because you are finished with school doesn’t mean that you should stop learning.

Work: If you want to live a quality lifestyle, you will need to work. Not only does hard work pay off with getting the material things that you need as well as some of the extra things that you want, but it is also good for the soul.  Hard work is an important part of mental health.

Exercise: Getting regular exercise is part of staying healthy for both the body and the mind.

Service: Giving of yourself in service is a way to not only help humanity that is around you, but it helps your self-image. People who serve others are happier people. They are usually well liked, and when you help others, it helps yourself in many ways that you only discover later.

Recreation: Everyone needs recreational time. This is an important part of keeping your balance. For most people, doing the recreational things is not a problem for them to do. Most people spend too much time in their recreational activities and get out of balance because of it. But there are others who spend so much time working that they don’t allow enough time for recreational activities.

Spiritual: It doesn’t matter if you are religious, or if you are atheist. We all need a degree of spirituality in our lives. It is in our genes. Spend some time in meditation each day. If you believe in God, spend some time in prayer. That is a form of meditation. We all need to get in touch with whatever it is that is deeper inside of us.

These items are areas in your life that need to be in place in order to keep yourself healthy mentally. If any of them is missing, then you are out of balance in your life. If you are doing too much of any one of them, you are also out of balance. Keeping the balance does not mean giving each thing equal time. It is about finding the right balance that fits you the best. Only you know what that is. It is always a balancing act to keep it all in check. Getting out of balance often results in addictions, health problems, and unhappiness. So listen to the old guy who lives in a cage. Keep your life in balance!

Hard core pornography is graphic depictions of sexual acts and full nudity with the intent to arouse. This includes depictions of masturbation, anal, and oral sex. There is a big difference between suggestive content, as is seen all over the media in movies and on television, and hard core pornography. Most religions will tell you that it is to be avoided. What does science say?

It has been documented that exposure to hard core pornography at a young age is harmful. There is no question that it is harmful for children under the age of 18 to view. It is particularly harmful when viewed during the time that the body is changing. For boys this is between the age of 10 and 13. In most cases, pornography gives the child the wrong type of sex education. It can actually affect the way that the child becomes set sexually for life. Nature needs to be allowed to take its proper course. Pornography that depicts violent acts along with the sexual acts can be particularly damaging to the mind of a child. It should be avoided as if it was poison. It can cause mental disorders such as PTSD, and depression.  This doesn’t mean that pornography will always result in a child being damaged mentally. Many children do watch pornography and grow up to be fine. But it is a big risk to view it. It would be much more prudent to wait until the brain has fully developed.

It has been found that the brain is not fully developed until around the age of 25. So could hard core pornography damage the development of the brain for persons between the age of 18 and 25? I don’t know the answer, but research suggests that it may be harmful.

Although much less harmful to adults than to children, there are still some dangers for adult viewers of pornography. Over time, it can cause the person to become conditioned to a point where sex becomes less exciting to them. Because the viewing of pornography can cause stimulation in the mind that is pleasurable, there is a chance that the person might become addicted to that feeling. Many people let pornography be their escape from reality. They use it as a coping device, much as a drug user uses those substances as medication for their depression. If this becomes the primary coping device, it will result in the person repeating that activity over and over again. This is not healthy living.

So, is pornography bad? Well, that depends. If you are underage, it might be harmful to you. If you are an adult, it may, or may not be harmful. Too much eating, gambling, alcohol… or really too much of anything, puts your life out of balance. In my opinion, there are some types of pornography that are absolutely harmful. Certainly child pornography is harmful to everyone involved with it. Pornography that depicts violent acts of rape or other violent acts cannot be healthy to watch. It will numb your senses. On the other hand, some pornography, tastefully done, can be helpful to older adults who suffer from impotence issues.

My conclusion is that pornography is unhealthy for those who are minors, but for adults, it can go either way, depending on the situation. It is something that if you are going to indulge in, should be done on a limited basis. Think of it as just eating one piece of chocolate in the box. Don’t scarf the whole box of candies down in one sitting. Personally, I try to avoid pornography. But you need to decide what is best for your health and well being. 
​ 

The answer is yes. People want to go to prison for various reasons. Some of them want to go for one of the reasons; others may have a combination of reasons to want to go.  The following are nine different reasons.  I know some men who have intentionally gotten themselves arrested so that they could be incarcerated.  I would highly recommend that you do not try that!

1. There are some people who are just not able to cope in society, and they feel more comfortable in an institutionalized setting where everything is controlled for them. Many ex-cons fit into this category.

2. Some of the poor and homeless desire prison for three meals and a cot. They don’t like being in prison at all, but at least they get food and shelter. The motivation may be the free health care as well.

3. There are people who are attracted to prison as a sexual kink. They have masochistic bondage fantasies about being locked up in prison. It is exciting to them to be restrained.

4. Some people who have a desire for bondage have a sexual side to it and a non-sexual side to it. One of the non-sexual sides is the relaxation of giving in to the bondage. They want the imprisonment as a way to escape reality and free themselves from the worries of daily life. It is somewhat of a paradox that people would actually want to go to prison and lose their freedom in order to feel free. 

5. Some people enjoy the feeling of being controlled by someone else. This may be sexual or non-sexual.

6. Some people want to go to prison to be someone who they are not. It is a form of role play where they turn into someone else. This is sometimes sexual in nature, but not always.

7. Some people want to go to prison just out of curiosity and getting thrill seeking experiences.

8. Some people, particularly gang members want to go to prison as a sign that they are "tough guys". It is a form of initiation for them, so they seek it out.

9. A few of the mentally ill have masochistic self destructive tendencies. They want to destroy their own lives; some of these people desire to go to prison out of a desire to be "punished".

Are you mentally ill just because you have a craving for imprisonment?  Absolutely not !  Some peoples minds have developed to like and enjoy different things.  While the majority of people do prefer to be free, it is not a perfect fit for everyone.  Some quite normal people would rather be controlled.  It is just a different mindset that is in the minority.  I would not judge someone because of how their brain is wired. 

 Definition: The process of intimidating or mistreating somebody weaker or in a more vulnerable situation.

I remember the bullies when I was a child. The way that the bullies treated other children was repugnant. Most of the bullies grew up and matured. They realized what despicable people they were as children and changed their ways.

But some did not. Unfortunately, there are many adult bullies out there that will pick on anyone who is different than them or on those who do not hold the same views as them. These people never grew up emotionally. They have no compassion towards others. They only care about their own agendas. Some of these bullies hide behind their religion. They pretend to be righteous and good, yet in reality they are the worst hypocrites.  Bullies usually pick on the minorities: blacks, homosexuals, transgendered, etc. As adults they have learned to cloak their bullying by pretending to have a moral agenda.  They tend to run in packs like wolves looking to attack their prey. These people have no morality. They are the people who will work against freedom.  They are the “Hitlers” of the world. Unfortunately they will not change. They don’t see themselves as bullies. They are too ignorant and self centered to see it.

So how do you deal with a true bully?  My suggestion is to document everything that they do against you or others. Once you have enough documentation, take them to court and sue them. If enough bullies find themselves in discrimination lawsuits, other bullies may be more careful about treating others so poorly. Remember, bullies do not have a true moral compass. The only way to stop a bully is through the legal system.

 Mark Bind's Contract for Voluntary Imprisonment

I do hereby make an agreement that at signing will be binding and in force.  I shall be called “prisoner” in this contract.  I agree that anyone who reads this contract can become my captor and keep me imprisoned. At the moment that I sign this contract, I shall be, and desire to be, under full obligation to fulfill it.  I fully understand that once signed, I shall lose my freedom at any given time and be incarcerated by the terms of this contract.  I shall hold all persons harmless for any claims of false imprisonment.
As a prisoner, I am to submit to any person who captures and imprisons me. 
Any persons who have me captured, have the right to keep me captured. 
Those who capture me may assign another person to enforce the imprisonment of the prisoner.
As the prisoner, I shall have no rights except the right to food and maintaining health.
I agree that I shall be treated as high risk and high security.
I promise that I will attempt to escape and get free.
The captor may heavily restrict the prisoner with any restraints to restrict movement. 
The prisoner will have the right to a safe word when things get too painful or unsafe, but using a safe word will not end my imprisonment.
I agree that just because I ask or beg for release, the captor does not need to release me.
I promise that I will try to manipulate the guard to let me go free.  I agree and understand that my complete loss of freedom shall be strictly enforced by anyone who has captured me.
I fully agree to the terms of this contract. It is my desire to not be released from my imprisonment even should I change my mind later and wish to be free.  Being kept prisoner against my will is my will.

A fictional short story by Mark Bind

I open my eyes but I cannot see anything. Am a blind? I am lying down and just awakened from sleep. I must have been drugged. I reach up with my hands and feel solid metal only a few inches above me. I move my legs and they cannot be moved apart more than about an inch before they hit the edge of the metal cage or box in which I must be in. It narrows down to the feet like an old coffin. I am confined in a very tiny space! Fuck! I must be buried alive! I feel a terrible panic and start to struggle and bang on the walls of my enclosure. It is only eighteen inches high, six feet long and not more than two feet wide at the widest point. I have a pillow and am resting on a thin cushion. I am comfortable enough for a confining sleep, but know that if I am buried alive I will soon be suffocating. I can feel the sweat flow down my face. I am totally nude. Everything has been taken from me. I lay here alone and wonder how long it will take to die. I am still groggy and I drift back to sleep.

I awaken from a deep sleep and roll to my side and hit the side of the metal coffin. My God! I am disoriented and forgot that I was trapped in this tiny black space. I don’t know if I am blind now or if it is just pitch black. I am feeling a need to urinate and turn over to my stomach. I can barely turn over. The top of the box has barely enough room for that. As I settle down on my stomach so that I can relieve myself all over the box, I can feel that there is a small hole where I can stick my penis in it straight down. I wonder if this is some kind of drain. I pee into the hole and the urine goes down it. Whoever put me here made provisions for me to pee.

I realize that the air is not getting heavier and stale. It has remained constant. The temperature has also remained constant. I am in a controlled space where my air is being supplied. I start to wonder if I am really buried alive or somewhere else.

Suddenly I hear a buzzing sound go off. A door at the end of the box above my head unlocks and lifts up. There is dim light in the space. I scoot my body forward and am able to just sit up. The open door at the end has increased the length of my space by about two feet. My legs still have to stay in the coffin space but now I can sit and there is a small ledge above them where the light is illuminating. Now my space is about eight feet long, two feet wide and 18 inches tall except for a two by two foot area where I can sit up and it is probably three feet tall. The ledge in front of me is like a small desk that is about ten inches deep. At the far end it appears that there is a small solid metal door for perhaps passing food to me. My suspicions about the door are almost immediately confirmed as a buzzer sounds again and the slot opens. A small loaf of bread and a bottle of liquid are shoved through the slot. I see no one’s hands shove it in. It seems to be mechanized. I am hungry but don’t know if I should trust the food and liquid. I figure that I have little choice so I eat it. The liquid tastes like water with something added to it. There is a slight bitter aftertaste. As I am eating I hear a door go down near my feet. The extra two feet at my feet that were left free when I moved up into the sitting position has been blocked off so that I cannot go back in and lay down. I am now trapped in the sitting position. Damn it! What are these people or this person trying to do with me?

I sit for a while wondering what will happen next. A buzzer goes on and the light turns out above the feeding slot and I am back in blackness for a few seconds. Another door behind my back opens up. There is now a light in the new room so I back into it and stand up. The room is about two feet by two feet. Just as I stand up, the door to the sleeping and feeding space close and lock shut. Now I am trapped in the standing position. I remain this way for about twenty minutes and suddenly I feel like I need to take a shit really bad. They put something into the water to make me have to shit. There must have been a laxative in the water. A buzzer goes off and a door opens up behind me. In it is a single toilet and sink combination. It is the kind that you would find in a prison cell. The light goes off in my room and the light is on where the toilet is. I need to go badly so I have no problem moving into the new tiny space. As soon as I move into it the door closes and locks. It seems that whoever my captor is wants me to be in the smallest space possible to do whatever I need to do. This is another very small space. I take a crap and thankfully there is some toilet paper so that I can wipe. There is also a towel for drying my hands after washing them.

As soon as I am done in the toilet room, the light goes out and a door to my left opens up. I go into my new space to find out what my captor has planned for me next. As soon as I go in, the door closes and locks behind me. This is a larger cell. It is about seven feet long and six feet wide; the size of a small bathroom. There is a stationary exercise machine for doing cardio and some weights on the floor. Like all of the other rooms this one is of solid heavy metal. In front of the exercise machine is a built in video monitor that is in the wall. It is turned on and there is a message on it.
"Welcome to your new home prisoner. You are our human hamster and you will be living the rest of your life in this cage. All of your needs will be met. You do not have to think. We will do it for you. You are to complete the following tasks…"
I shutter in terror as I read the message. Are they really going to keep me in this place for real? Please let this be a bad dream and let me wake up! I read on.

"Task one: You will have the following workout routine every day to keep you in shape at exactly the same time every day…"

The message explained how much cardio I was to do and what body building exercises were required. I decided that I would just not do as ordered. I sat on the small floor space and did not budge. A voice went on above me which gave me a warning,

"If you do not comply within thirty seconds you will be punished."

I ignore it. What could they do? All of the sudden the room is filling up with some kind of gas. There is no place to go. I am trapped. I feel like I am suffocating and I pass out.

I am starting to gain consciousness again. All I see is blackness. I try to turn over but discover that I cannot move at all. I am in some kind of solid cast or cage that conforms to every inch of my body. It feels like it may be a thick fiberglass material or perhaps even solid concrete. I try to struggle to discover if I am in some kind of body formed case or box that will open, but nothing happens. I am encased in something ridged that makes it impossible to move. After a while I give up on attempting to escape and in exhaustion drift off again to sleep.

I awaken to a buzzing noise. The lid of the body cage that I am in automatically lifts off just far enough for me to squeeze out through the side. As soon as I move out of the body cage a wall comes down and separates me from it trapping me again in a tiny space almost as small as the one I awakened to earlier this morning. But this time the space is about two feet wide and two feet tall. It is a rectangle about six feet long. Suddenly a door opens on the wall above my head and I move out of the little box back into the workout room that I was trapped in before. The cardio machine and weights are still there. The same message is on the video monitor ordering me to do the routine. But an additional message tells me that every time I disobey an order I will be placed in another very confining restraint that will become part of my daily routine. The body cage is now to be a daily part of my routine. Every time I disobey an order, another one will be added until my entire day is nothing but total loss of movement every day for the rest of my life. I shudder at the prospect. Who would do such a sinister thing to me? What kind of sick and twisted prison am I in? I comply and do the assigned exercises.

As soon as I finish the lights go out in the small cell that I am in and another door unlocks and opens up to a small shower that is about three by three feet and tall enough to stand in. I know what they want me to do so I comply. I figure that I have no choice in this. Maybe if I am good they will release me sooner. I get into the shower cage and like the other rooms; the door closes and locks behind me. The shower turns on by its self and I am allowed a five minute shower. The shower shuts off and the door to the workout cell unlocks and opens. I go in and the door locks behind me.

I am back in the largest space that I seem to have in my prison. Six feet by seven is not a very big space to be locked into, but it is the biggest one I have. I look around to see if there might be a door that leads out of the imprisonment that I am in. Perhaps there is none. But I guess it doesn't’t matter since it would be securely locked shut anyway.
 

The lights suddenly go out in the workout room and the door to the toilet room opens up. The light is on in there so I retreat back into it. As soon as I go in the door to the workout room closes and locks. The door opens in front of me and I go back into the room that is two by two feet where I can only stand. The door closes me in and I remain standing for what seems like a few hours. The door in front of me finally opens and I go back into the small sitting space cage where I ate my meal. I crouch down and slip myself back into the sitting position. The door closes and I can see that there is more food and water on the ledge for me to eat. I eat and then am tired and want to lay down for a rest and so I slide myself back onto the softer padding in the coffin cell. The door suddenly closes behind me and I am once again trapped in pitch blackness in the tiny solid cage. All I can do in it is lie down and sleep.

I awaken from a deep sleep and roll to my side and hit the side of the metal coffin. My God! I am disoriented and forgot that I was trapped in this tiny black space. Suddenly I hear a buzzing sound go off. A door at the end of the box above my head unlocks and lifts up. There is dim light in the space. I scoot my body forward and am able to just sit up. The open door at the end has increased the length of my space by about two feet. My legs still have to stay in the coffin space but now I can sit and there is a small ledge above them where the light is illuminating. A small loaf of bread and a bottle of liquid are shoved through the slot. I eat my meal. A buzzer goes on and the light turns out above the feeding slot and I am back in blackness for a few seconds. Another door behind my back opens up. There is now a light in the new room so I back into it and stand up. The now familiar room is about two feet by two feet. Just as I stand up, the door to the sleeping and feeding space close and lock shut. Now I am again trapped in the standing position. I remain this way for about twenty minutes and suddenly I feel like I need to take a shit again. A buzzer goes off and a door opens up behind me. The light goes off in my room and the light is on where the toilet is. As soon as I move into it the door closes and locks. As soon as I am done in the toilet room, the light goes out and a door to my left opens up. I go back into the workout cell . As soon as I go in, the door closes and locks behind me. I look at the monitor in front of the exercise machine. This time there is a message on it that says.

"Welcome to day two hamster. Welcome to your new life. Every day will be the same. This is all the space that you will ever see. Your entire world is contained in less than 80 square feet. But you will never have access to all of it at once. You will always be in the most confined space possible for you to still survive but have as little freedom as possible. You will never know freedom again. You will be in isolation in this prison where there is no exit. You are welded and sealed in. Every day will be exactly the same as the one before, and you will never die because you already did. You died from asphyxiation when you tried that bondage stunt of being cast under concrete. Remember? Welcome to Hell. You used to say that you liked bondage. Now you will have to live in it forever."

Suddenly I awaken and realize that I was only dreaming. What a horrible dream. I am disoriented and still half asleep as I try to turn over but I cannot move. Then I come back into full consciousness. I cannot move at all. I can’t see anything at all. I am sealed firmly and rigidly under the hardened concrete that killed me. I am dead, but I am alive at the same time. I am a zombie entombed in a solid concrete slab. This is my hell. I will be conscious while I remain sealed in concrete and unable to move forever. My dream was not a nightmare. It was a good dream compared to my reality. I lay in terror, as I feel the pressure and stiffness of the concrete. I cannot move any part of my body. The cement is fully formed and hardened around every part of it keeping me permanently bound and imprisoned. I want to fall asleep again. I want to dream about anything but this reality. But this is my hell. I guess that I have already been trapped in this for over a hundred years, but who is counting. I have billions to go. It will never end since this is eternity. This is the ultimate bondage.

I find it sad that so many people who are into bondage have to keep it in the closet. There is a fear of any one finding out that they are into bondage because they will be considered weird or different. Yet if you look at the statistics for bondage toy sales world wide, it is a multi billion dollar industry. Bondage porn is everywhere. Bondage is portrayed openly in film and television. If bondage is so taboo, then why is it such an enormous industry?

We live in such a strange world where people of faith who claim to be Christian or whatever other God they worship, think that they are the good ones when they are the most prejudice, dishonest, and mean spirited. There is so much hypocrisy in the world it is pathetic.

Why is it that homosexuals have to come out of the closet? Why do they have to go through that painful process of coming out? It is because of the prejudice in society. Heterosexuals don't have to go through the process of coming out. They don't have to worry about their sexual identity. "Hmm, am I straight? Yikes, I better keep this secret. What will others think of me if I let them know that I like the opposite sex? Homosexuals should never have to go through the coming out process. Society needs to accept them as being totally normal as they are.

I am disgusted that even today a movie can get a more mature rating if two men kiss. Really? Every child needs to see people of the same sex kissing just as they do the opposite sex. It will NOT make them gay. It will help those who are to know that it is normal. We are a society living as an advanced civilization when it comes to science and industry, but we are still cave men socially.

Are you prejudice about anything?  You are probably saying "no". But chances are, you are probably prejudice about something. In fact I will go further.  I think that every person is prejudice about something.

Do you know what the definition of "prejudice" is?  It is the unsubstantiated prejudgment of something, some individual, or some group of people.  It is based on not having full knowledge about whatever it is.  I don't think any of us have full knowledge.

Here is the full definition:  "Prejudice is unsubstantiated prejudgment of an individual or group, favorable or unfavorable in character, tending to action in a consonant direction". 

The hostility that prejudice can engender and the discrimination to which it may lead on the part of a dominant population toward an ethnic group, gender, religious or linguistic minority have caused great human suffering throughout history. Some researchers attribute prejudice to deep-rooted "fear of the stranger," while others cite religious or nationalist chauvinism, and fear of economic competition. Most, however, agree that prejudice is learned and can be reduced when members of different communities work together toward the realization of a common goal. 

Prejudice is a hostile opinion about some person or class of persons. Prejudice is socially learned and is usually grounded in misconception, misunderstanding, and inflexible generalizations. The word prejudice is most often used to refer to preconceived judgments toward people or a person because of race/ethnicity, gender, social class, age, disability, religion, sexuality, nationality or other personal characteristics. It can also refer to unfounded beliefs and may include "any unreasonable attitude that is unusually resistant to rational influence."

One can be prejudiced against, or have a preconceived notion about someone due to any characteristic they find to be unusual or undesirable. A few commonplace examples of prejudice are those based on someone’s race, gender, nationality, social status, sexual orientation or religious affiliation, and controversies may arise from any given topic.

Like most minority groups, homosexuals and bisexuals are not immune to prejudice or stereotypes from the majority group. They may experience hatred from others because of their sexual preferences; a term for such intense hatred based upon one’s sexual orientation is homophobia. Due to what social psychologists call the vividness effect, a tendency to notice only certain distinctive characteristics, the majority population tends to draw conclusions like gays flaunt their sexuality. Such images may be easily recalled to mind due to their vividness, making it harder appraise the entire situation. The majority population may not only think that homosexuals flaunt their sexuality or are "too gay," but may also erroneously believe that homosexuals are easy to identify and label as being gay or lesbian when compared to others who are not homosexual.

I have seen the ugly head of prejudice with in my own family. I have a former "in-law" who could be the poster girl of prejudice and hypocrisy. I have seen her brag that she and her husband own a shopping center. People get the erroneous idea that she and her husband built up a multi-million dollar commercial real estate company. The truth is that she inherited it from her daddy. In my opinion there is poverty in intelligence as well as education that would make it quite difficult for her to obtain any lucrative income without her daddy providing her with the means. She is an active Mormon. She is so fearful of homosexuals and those people who are into bondage and other orientations, that I was not permitted to see any of her children, (all of which are adults) or to go to her house. I was told about how fearful and protective she is of her family if she even thinks that I am near. She told me that she did not want me to "contaminate" her family. Let me tell you just a little bit about how dangerous I am. I have never been arrested or assaulted anyone. I have never spoken to her children in the past about anything remotely having to do with bondage or homosexuality. I always kept my language and mannerisms respectful and clean around them. I do not have any catching illness. Of course she thinks that I am "very very mentally ill". In her thinking, anyone who is gay or into bondage is doing something evil. They are making "bad choices".  She presents herself as being wise and righteous. After all, she is one of the chosen white people who belong to the only true Church. But underneath there is a snobbishness, desire for power, and orientation to self which is hidden under her plastic facade. I doubt that she will ever educate herself enough to be able to not be prejudice. I remember her telling me that Martin Luther is mentioned in one of the Mormon scriptures. It was quite obvious to me, having read those writings myself many times, that she had never read them. She lives on blind faith, believing in the foolish traditions taught to her. Is there Christian love and kindness to those who she does not understand or are in the same social class as her? In my opinion the answer is no. I only mention her as an example of prejudice that I saw firsthand. 

I find is sad that people get so programmed in their minds by their upbringing or religious indoctrination that they become closed minded and fearful of anything beyond the understanding of their little world. They would never even consider that some of their attitudes and thoughts are in error. They continue to hang on to their superstitions and bigotry. I cannot judge them for their fallacious thinking however, they have been quite brainwashed from an early age. Getting deprogrammed is not easy. So we who are more enlightened need to remember that. We cannot be prejudice back, calling them bad or evil because they are so non-accepting of diversity. We risk doing to them what they do to us. We must take the high road. Slowly, over time most of society will become more tolerant and if we are patient with them and not be "in their face about it". We who are in the minority need to show that we are good people, helping to build a better society. The world is changing, and we can help it change for the better.

"Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilized by education; they grow there, firm as weeds among stones." 

- Charlotte Bronte

 In 2011, After months of planning, my friend dug a hole seven feet deep. The plan was for me to be buried alive in the hole. I wasn’t sure how he would dig me out, and I wondered why the hole was so deep. I was starting to wonder if I was going to be buried, or just trapped in the hole and covered with a plywood board or something. But, knowing my friend and his creativity, I suspected the unexpected.

Another friend of mine came with me to observe, photograph and videotape the scene. 

We arrived at 8:15 A.M. and were ushered into the back yard. I put on a pair of board shorts and climbed down into the hole. When I reached my arms up, I could barely reach ground level. 

I put on a gas mask with intake and out take hoses that were attached to an apparatus with a bladder so that he would be able to check my breathing. 

Dirt was shoveled down into the hole as I stood there. It took a long time for the dirt to fill up around my body. When the dirt was up to my waist, he got a long board and packed the dirt down with it. I could feel the pressure as the dirt was compacted around my legs and waist. At this point I realized that there was already no way out. I was trapped. He continued to fill in the hole and I began to disappear into the earth. 

He filled the dirt right up to my neck so that only my head was sticking out. I thought that he would stop there, but he just kept filling in the dirt. In fact, he began filling it in faster. He took a shovel full of dirt and threw it into my face, then on top of my head. It filled in around my head and I was unable to move my head anymore. When the dirt filled up to the lenses of the gas mask, I knew that in only seconds I would be covered totally. I watched as the dirt piled up and covered the lenses. 

It got dim where I could see just a little bit of light, and then with a couple shovels full more; I was plunged into absolute blackness. I could not move at all. I was able to hear the dirt as more was dumped on top of me. I could also feel it as the weight continued to increase. I thought that he would stop filling in the hole once I was buried over the top of my head, yet for several minutes I could still hear shovel full after shovel full of dirt being tossed on top of me. I started to wonder how deep I really was. It felt like my head must have been four feet or more below the earth now. I started to breathe harder with a feeling of panic knowing that it was quite possible that I could die in this hole. I felt quite a bit of pressure on my chest, but not so much that I was unable to breathe. But the air that I was getting was coming through a long tube, so the air seemed somewhat stale.

I heard him stop filling the hole and then I felt it as he jumped up and down on top of me. The soil compacted tight around my head, and I felt some compression as it pushed my head down toward my neck. Next, I heard something that sounded like it was being drug across the dirt above me. I didn’t know what it was. I found out later that he was raking the dirt smooth above me to hide any evidence that anyone was buried alive in his back yard. I felt as though I was permanently sealed in concrete. 

I stayed down there for a long time. I had a panic attack and felt like I was suffocating for a little while, but then worked out the panic in my mind and started to meditate. Eventually I was so calm that I began to dose off a little bit. I had a fear of falling asleep while buried because I was afraid that I would never wake up. After about an hour, the compression pushing my head down to my neck was getting unbearable and I was feeling faint. There was intense pressure around my forehead as well which was giving me a headache. I begged for him to dig out my head part way. Fortunately he had arranged it so that he could hear me through my air hole. He dug out the top of my head and I was able to move it up a little to relieve the pressure. He re-filled the hole over my head but didn’t pack it down. I remained in darkness and was still unable to move.

Over time I started to feel stress on my lower back and on the bottom of my feet from being in the standing position. I struggled as much as I could to free myself, but could move nothing at all. Sweat was dripping down my face and into my eyes as I fought for my freedom. I was hopelessly encased in the dirt. I knew that I was totally helpless and at the mercy of my captor. He had total control over my life. He could have very easily cut off my air and left me buried in his backyard. I imagined him installing sod over the top of me, or even pouring a concrete patio on top. I knew that there was a real possibility that something could go wrong and I would die. It was scarier than hell. Just before the two hour mark I started to feel some panic again. I was feeling faint and was having trouble trying to control my breathing. I couldn’t tell if I was breathing too much and hyperventilating or not enough and getting asphyxiated.

I began to moan and he started to dig out my head. When the light hit my face I had to keep my eyes tightly closed, and even then the light was intense. After a while my eyes adjusted to the light. 

I spent another hour buried up to my neck waiting to get dug out.

He had a parallel hole dug beside the one I was in and once that was dug, he was able to get to me and dig me out. As he was digging my out I began to get emotional and cried just a little bit as I realized that I had done something that many people will only fantasize about. I felt euphoric and happy. I couldn’t help thanking my friend repeatedly for making this experience real for me. 

I came out of the hole around 1:30 in the afternoon. I was covered with sweaty mud. 

It took two days to recover from the burial. My muscles were sore; I had a little bit of congestion from the dust, was dehydrated, and was exhausted from the struggle. Wow what an intense ride that was! The most awesome ride of my life! Wow!

I am going to give my opinion here in simple terms and will speak about this topic in a way that is appropriate even for less mature audiences.  I am not a therapist, but I have done quite a bit of studying and have also been around for a while and have observed and spoken to a lot of guys about their sexual feelings.  Traditionally, people who are wired to things such as "bondage" and other things not related directly to sexual intercourse with the opposite sex have been considered to have a paraphilia. This is simply a sexual response to objects that are not connected to the sex act. For many years paraphilias have been considered as a form of a mental disorder. Homosexuality was at one time considered a paraphilia. Today, if you are turned on by handcuffs for example, you are considered to have a paraphilia. 

They used to say that people with paraphilias did not know how to love. THIS IS A FALSE NOTION THAT IS NOW OUT OF DATE! Science is discovering that people who have a sexual interest in other things and use these items of sexual attraction as props actually are better at making love than their counter parts. It used to be believed by many, and still is by some religious fanatics that having a paraphilia is un-natural or a sin. THIS IS FALSE INFORMATION! As it turns out, almost everyone is wired to objects that are not actually sexual. this wiring is to greater or lesser degrees, but, men get a feeling in their sexual organs from many different things totally unrelated to sex. Sometimes when they have bought a new car or clothing, they feel a small amount of excitement in their sex organ. Guys may deny this fact, but it is true.  I am not saying that it is necessarily a strong sexual feeling, although it can be, but the brain sends a response there as well as to other parts of the body such as the heart and nervous system.   I know that most actors feel a slight sexual high from the positive response from an audience. I personally felt this when I used to be a professional entertainer.  My point is that science has found that nature has wired us to feel things in our organs more than we have realized. Our brains are wired to every part of our body, and every part can be affected at once by different stimuli. Like fingerprints, no two people are wired exactly the same way sexually either.

I am not going to get technical in this rambling about this topic nor am I even bothering to back up my statements with the research. I have done lots of searching though the findings and research of various people and you can do the same thing if you are so inclined. My personal conclusion on paraphilias is that it is quite normal in most cases. Like anything there is always the exception to the rule. Some people developed sexual wiring from bad things that happened to them. But, good or bad,  once you are wired, it is going to pretty much stay that way.  

Some people are wired sexually to things that are socially unacceptable and potentially harmful to others.  I am speaking of pyromaniacs, sexual predators of minors, sadists who would hurt or kill someone else for real.  Those people face a true battle because their brain is wired sexually to something that is NOT harmless to themselves or others.  Changing that wiring is about as hopeless as trying to change the wiring of a straight person to make them gay. 

Many years ago I served a two year term as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon Church). As missionaries, our goal was to convince people of the truthfulness of our message and to get them Baptized as members of our Church. Mormons believe that although all churches contain some truth, all of the truth, or shall I say, the fullness of the gospel, is found in the Mormon Church. Mormons believe that you must be a baptized member of the church in order to return to God’s presence.

As a missionary I wanted to make sure that my brothers and sisters here on earth were able to have all of the blessings of the only completely true church that I had. My whole focus was to help others and serve the Lord. One of the things we were taught to do as missionaries was to not talk about certain aspects of the church that might sound too strange or weird to them. The idea was to give them milk before the meat. If anyone asked about the past practice of polygamy, or why blacks at the time could not hold the priesthood, why we wore special under garments, or embarrassing historical facts about the origin of the church, we skirted around the question and quickly changed the subject in order to focus on the important main message about the restoration of truth.

One of the apostles at the time, Boyd K. Packer made a statement that it would be better to omit some of the true facts about Mormon Church history that might be damaging to the faith of the membership.  The idea was that if you are doing what God wants you to do, and you are fighting his war on his side, you can say or do anything that will help convince others of your views to get them on your side.  So when we talked about how Joseph Smith translated the golden plates into the Book of Mormon, we told them that he did it by the gift and power of God. We showed a painting of him in our flipcharts, studying the gold plates with his fingers on the characters, and a scribe writing down what he deciphered. This was actually a deception. The real way that he claimed to have translated it, according to his own history, was to use a smooth “seer stone” (a round glacier polished metamorphic rock) that he found several years earlier while digging a well.  He put the rock into a hat, and then put his face into it to block out all of the light. He said that the characters appeared on the stone in English. Often the plates were never even in the vicinity. So it wasn’t technically a translation at all. It was just what God made appear on the rock.

As a young missionary trying to convince people of the truth of the Book of Mormon, I was not about to tell them details about how the translation happened. It sounded crazy. It would divert them away from my very important message. I believed the story, but I didn’t think that they would swallow it. So I lied. Yes, that is right. I lied for the Lord. I was not the only missionary that did this. We all did it. We were doing it for the greater good. In a war you do whatever it takes to win, right?

Since then, I have determined that, for me, I can’t live with myself if I have to be deceptive in order to convince people to believe in my views. What if my beliefs and perceptions are flawed?  Certainly some of them are. It is nearly impossible in this world these days to even figure out what is fake or opinionated news and what is real.  We have an information superhighway that is cluttered with garbage and litter.

I am not trying to slam the Mormon Church or its beliefs. I continue to believe many of the things that the Church teaches, particularly when it comes to building strong family units, and giving of service to everyone. It makes lots of people who are members happy. Being a happy person is a good thing. The L.D.S. Church contains many truths as do all religions. I would always stand up for the rights for people to believe in anything, even in fairy tales and folk lore, as long as it is not hateful or hurtful to other people.

I was taught that the master of deception was someone called “Satan”. So…is it really a good thing to use his techniques in order to convince others of truth? The best way to be deceptive is to make most of your story true, but put a small alteration to it to make it better or more accepted. Another technique is to tell all of the truth but leave out some details so that it leads the other person to believe something else. That way you can rationalize that you didn’t lie.  I say, it is deception to purposely lead someone into a false belief from what you said, even if what you said is the truth. Lawyers are expert at these techniques by the way.

In religion, once you are a member, you are invested in it. If you are a strong member who wants to stay that way, you will overlook those things about your church that are troublesome. You will think to yourself, “I will just have faith because it is all about believing”. Just follow and ignore anything that might hurt that faith, even if it is true.

In politics the best way to win votes is to just tell people what they want to hear. Honesty about what you are going to really do when elected has nothing to do with it. So you say anything and do anything to get elected. People of your party will support you no matter what you say. They will spin your lies into something more plausible and will forgive anything that you say that is wrong. Your supporters are only interested in getting a win for their party, so they will look the other way when you lie or say stupid things. It is a war against the other ideology and it is okay to use whatever tactic that you can for the greater good.

Sorry if this makes people upset, but I just do not agree with these kind of tactics. I refuse to march in lock-step with everything from any political party, leader, or religion. I will use my own brain to study and form my own unique views based on what I think is the best and true.

You may get an idea that I am more than just a little bit disgusted with society these days. Integrity is out the door. Civility is gone. Greed and self centeredness is the rule of the day.  Acceptance and tolerance have become a thing of the past. Welcome to our brave new world of hate. I was a child when the slogan, “Make love, not war” became popular.  Today’s slogan might be, “Do whatever it takes to get what you want”. I wish that we could have the slogan, “Love one another”.  Oh well, I am just a dreamer. Nobody would ever ask us to do that, or live by it, would they?

“As I have loved you, love one another” (Bible quote attributed to Jesus Christ) 

 There are a lot of people who know very little about people who engage in BDSM, “bondage” and other activities that in many areas are still considered taboo.  It is unfortunate that there is a lot of incorrect judging of what people who engage in what many call deviant behavior are like.

People who engage in BDSM and other so called kinky activities come from all walks of life.  They are not a bunch of geeks as I heard one person who had a deficit of intelligence say.  In thinking about the people who I have gotten to know personally who engage in these activities, here is a list of some of the occupations of some of those I have associated with.   Accountant, Screenwriter, artist, farmer, teacher, musician, professor, psychologist, radiologist, dentist, C.E.O., Chairman of the School Board, Scientist, Social Worker, Policeman, Firefighter, Electrician,  postal worker, salesman, professional diver, actor, film editor, stockbroker, mortician, piano teacher, software engineer,  concrete worker, engineer, florist, web designer, construction worker, social worker, councilor, Rabbi, priest,  cab driver, tax collector, commander in the Navy, real estate developer, human resources manager, professional athlete, prison guard, writer, banker, and even one guy who was an honest to goodness drifter with no job at all.  The types of jobs and lifestyles of these people are as varied as the rest of the world. 

Are some of the people into bondage and BDSM weird and misfits?  Of course some of them are, just like some people in the vanilla world are too.  Are there some bad people who do these kinds of activities?  Yep.  I have met some pretty dishonest crooks and some real bad and dark people in the bondage community. I have also met some pretty dishonest people and really bad and dark people who have no interest in “kink” and “BDSM”. 

Are they all a bunch of left wing liberals?  Nope.  A lot of them are because they usually vote for social change for the better.  I have met some pretty right wing conservative republicans who are deeply into BDSM.  I know some people in the bondage community that have obvious mental problems.  But I have met even more people out of the bondage community with mental problems.   

I have not found any real common denominator for people who are into bondage as compared to those who are not.  Neither seems to be smarter or more balanced than the other.  They come from all religions, and from all nationalities.  They have varied personalities and outside interests and hobbies.  They are neat or messy.  They are rich and poor.  Most of them keep their bondage interests very secret.  It has been estimated that 30% of the population has or does engage in some kind of what may be considered deviant behavior that is not within the “box” of social norms.  I think that it is likely more like 80 or 90 percent.  We know from one study that 49 percent of men surveyed said that they got turned on by “bondage” in some form or another. 

So to answer the question posed in the title of this article, what are people engaged in bondage and BDSM like?  Like your next door neighbor who is mowing their lawn right now, like your sibling who just sent you a birthday card, like your co worker that you had lunch with this afternoon, or maybe like you. 

 When the majority of people think of "bondage" they combine it with "sex".  For most people who are into "Bondage", there is a strong sexual component.  But not always.  Bondage is not always about sex.  A poll taken by "Men's Health" magazine in 2012 revealed that 50% of men liked to be tied up.  Wow!  Talk about the elephant in the room! Those who are into bondage may not actually be in the minority if everyone was honest about their feelings.  Below are several reasons why people engage in bondage that I have found from my research on this.  Most people don't engage in it for all of these reasons, but have a combination of some of them that they are wired for. 

1. Relationship oriented bondage where there is a huge imbalance of power. A lot of trust is involved in the power exchange and the subordinate enjoys giving up all of the power to the dominant. The subordinate submits fully to pain, degradation, whatever the dominant inflicts. Master slave relationships are most often loving relationships from my observations. The Slave desires to serve and be the property of his Master. The Master wants to take care of his property and keep his slave happy and fulfilled. Certainly, like any relationships, there are a few unhealthy ones just as there are in the "vanilla" world. 

2. Thrill seeking: The bondage gives the captive a feeling of being in peril and it results in an adrenaline rush. Skydivers, mountain climbers and race car drivers have similar if not the same motivation for engaging in their sports. Most people into bondage have engaged in self bondage where they restrain themselves and no one else is involved, it is not relationship based. (It may be in the fantasy as they act out in some cases though)

3. Sexual feelings: The bondage gives both the captive and the dominant sexual stimulation. I would guess that over 95% of those who engage in bondage get aroused by it. Many people are not able to attain a full orgasm without using bondage props in their foreplay. 

4. Relaxation: Certain forms of comfortable, yet restrictive bondage where there is deprivation of the senses can cause a deep feeling of relaxation and euphoria. For some people 15 minutes of restrictive bondage is equal to a couple hours of sleep. This sometimes makes you feel a spiritual type feeling.

5. Endurance: Part of doing bondage for some of us is trying to endure pain, stress, or long periods of bondage to see how much we can take, but more important, to get to a point where we can endure the pain and reach new levels of consciousness.

6. Punishment: There is a turn on for many to be punished and abused. This is not always about a relationship based on love. In fact, it could be quite a different kind of relationship, but trust is still involved usually. I am not sure what this is about, but most of those who are involved in this kind of play or fantasy are normal people. It may be an extension of the thrill seeking and adrenaline rush. It also can help pull out certain emotions that may be difficult to get to. 

7. Tactile sensation: The feeling of certain objects against the body with various levels of pressure gives different feelings. For example: Being mummified feels like a big hug all around the body. There is a sensation of safety to it for me. This may go back to childhood or even to the womb. I like the feeling of rope, metal, and other restraints against the bare skin. There seems to be a different form of comfort for people who are into bondage.

8. Experiencing the good versus the bad. There is an old adage that you cannot really experience good, or comfort, without experiencing the bad, or discomfort. When released from a severe and uncomfortable or oppressive bondage, it really feels good to get into my own bed and feel the comfort and compare it. If you lose your freedom and rights for a period of time, you may appreciate them better when you are free again. 

9. Escape: Role plays and being bound are a way to escape from reality and be someone who you are not, perhaps someone more daring or a rebel. 

10: Freedom: Bondage can free the mind from worries. If you are trapped in a small space, there is nothing you can do about those things that need to be done. You are being forced from being able to do them. It gives a care free feeling. It frees you from having to think and make choices

11: The feeling of being more masculine (or in women’s case) being more feminine as a result of the bondage. I feel very masculine when I am held in heavy chains or handcuffs. I think it looks cool.   

12: Attention seeking: When you are being restrained, you get a lot of attention from the Dominant or those who are capturing you; getting that attention feels good. If great pains are being made to keep me from being able to escape because I am considered an escape risk, I feel more important. Some people enjoy doing some form of bondage in public; it may just be a leather collar or small chain and lock. 

13. Seeking out higher levels of "spirituality" or self discoveries.  The native Americans and many of the Asian cultures practiced bondage and masochism in an attempt to feel "spiritual"  In 2012 I was able to get my mind to have a "going into the light" experience that was the same as "near death" experiences.  I was not near death, but simply restrained comfortably like a mummy and was quite safe.  Many people talk about having "out of body" experiences.  I have felt this as well a few times too.

14. Play. Bondage, particularly those that involve role plays are an extension of the playing and make believe we did as children. As adults it is enjoyable and fun to continue to play. I have noticed that nearly every drug store carries plastic or metal toy handcuffs for children to play with.  Children love handcuffs.  They love to play "cops and robbers".  Well guess what, some of us adults still like to play cops and robbers.  I emphasize "play".  Just because you are pretending to be something in play does not mean that it is what you want to be in real life.  

(Note:  by mentioning children playing with handcuffs I do not infer that I think that children should be encouraged to engage in "sexual" bondage.  And certainly no adult should engage a child in anything sexual in nature as it is wrong and against the law as well.  But just playing with handcuffs or children playing cowboys and Indians as they tie each other up is just simple child's play that is perfectly normal behavior for children.)

If you do "bondage" are you sick or mentally ill?  The answer is, probably not.  Most people who engage in it are quite normal and adjusted people.  Sure there are a few that are mentally ill, not any more than in the main stream world.  In fact, studies have found that the majority of people who do bondage are actually slightly less prone to depression and are a little bit happier percentage wise.  Bondage usually becomes a problem for people who are not accepting themselves as they are.  They are not allowing themselves to be themselves and do what makes them feel good.  Not accepting yourself is not a mental illness either, it is a problem that needs to be solved, but certainly no illness.  So do what is best for you. Be safe, sane, and legal.

 When I was a small child I remember going to the beach, laying down, and piling the warm sand on top of me. The pressure felt good. I think that was the start of my interest in burial. My interest in sand burial branched out to include dirt, mud, and quicksand. I remember enjoying T.V. shows where people were stuck in quicksand and sand and sank in it until they were out of sight. But, I discovered from personal experience that what was portrayed on film did not come close to what the reality of quicksand really is. It is a myth that you can sink to your doom over the head in quicksand because the mixture is too dense. I usually sink up to about my chest. The only way to go all the way down would be to be weighed down with heavy chain or a led belt.

What if feels like to sink into quicksand varies by the water content, as well as how much clay may be in it as opposed to sand. Generally what happens when you get into quicksand is that as you start to sink into it, if you move around, you will sink more. As you try to pull your leg out, the suction prevents you from being able to pull it out and at the same time the other leg goes down deeper. The suction is particularly strong if you are going down in a clay type of quicksand or mud. What once may have been fairly solid becomes more liquid as you struggle and move. The scientific term for this is liquefaction. You will only sink further down as you struggle. When you stop struggling, the material becomes more solid around you and the result is being stuck at that stage of sinking. You can’t go up, but as long as you don’t struggle, you won’t go down either. The ground around you has become more solid and you are now stuck in a vice. Should you decide to struggle further you will continue to sink until you are about to your arm pits. As long as you are not weighted down by chain or concrete shoes,, you will stop sinking . No matter how much you struggle at this point, you will not sink further. Getting out of the quicksand is actually very easy to do. Keep struggling and make the material as liquid as possible. Then start moving your legs and feet up as you lay back into the muck. As you continue to move you can keep the mixture more fluid and you will be able to pull the legs up sideways. Eventually you can get yourself up to the top of the quicksand and by spreading your body out on it, keep yourself mostly on the top of it. Then, staying horizontal on top, work your way over to a solid edge where you can get out.

I have tried making home made quick sand in my backyard. There can be a danger of getting yourself out with this. If the sand around your hole is dry and you go into the wet sand in the hole, the wet sand will settle around your feet at the bottom of the hole if you stay still for too long down there and you will not be able to get your feet out. The weight of the water on top of the settling sand will compress it down trapping you. If you continue to stay still and you have gone in deep with your arms down, it can settle an harden around you like concrete as the water goes out of the sand to the surrounding area and the sand settles down. I tried this as an experiment myself. I used almost pure sand and mixed it with the water. I found that the sand settled quickly when I tried to sink in it, so I got in the hole and put a mix of sand and water on top of me in layers. When the burial was about up to my armpits, I made the mixture very wet, and before the sand could settle, put my arms down into the mixture and stayed still for about fifteen minutes. When I tried to move, I was surprised to find myself completely trapped. I was not able to move anything below my arm pits. I could not pull my arms out. In fact, I couldn’t move my arms or fingers at all. An attempt at moving to make the sand more liquid so that I could get out was impossible because it had compacted and the water had wicked out to the surrounding dry sand. I was totally imprisoned in the sand and unable to escape on my own. Fortunately I was smart enough to do this experiment while supervised by someone who could dig me out. We were both surprised at how hard the material became. I felt like I had been set in concrete. I had my hands in a fist and was not able to even open the fist. I could not move any fingers or toes at all. I stayed in it a few hours to see what it was like. When I was dug out, it took almost half an hour to get me free.

If you want to try being buried in mud, or quicksand I would advise you to never do it alone. There are risks involved and you may find yourself stuck in something that at first may be fun to do, but when you discover that you are trapped and will die like that, the fun has a way of going away.
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